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Transition-tude- Pt. III

By Brenda Bertrand on March 13, 2010

Time to do a pulse check on your transition-tude.
Transition-tude….
You know..
the attitude you have when you go through a transition. Yep, transition-tude.

We all have one.

Some of us whine, throw tantrums, others sulk, get angry, get going,
get in the driver’s seat, get busy,get bossy…you fill in the blanks.
We all have a “transition-tude” of choice. :0)

Whatever your default “transition-tude”, I want to check in and see how you are doing.

Are you in a firm stance of stubbornness? Or in surrender?
Hard to know?

OK! Think about it this way:

When in transition, we usually expend our energies in one of two ways.
We either 1. fight the process or 2. surrender to the process.
And trust me dear friends, I have experienced fight and surrender within the same nanosecond.

There are times when I try to surrender — embrace every moment;
knowing this time won’t last forever. On my best days, I invest my time and energy on the present; adding value to and learning from the people and opportunities that are in my life right now.

Then there are times when my feisty Caribbean, inner ninja comes out swingin’.
My conversations or thoughts spiral out of control and I fight to keep what little control I have left as I face hidden fears.

The fight is usually fueled by thoughts that dwell on better days gone by or rehearsing sad moments of the past. And —If I have a really bad transition day, I throw a pity party or a whine tasting for a party of one. ;0)

So enough about me…

What about your transition-tude? How is it?
An easy way to know, is to check how you are doing with control.

-Check your knuckles. Yep, check em. Go ahead.

Are they white from holding on for dear life? Are you still holding on to the
one little thing you can still control?
>>>Ouch! I know… dear one. That question hurts me too. The truth stings. ;0/ < <<

If you are still struggling to be in control or fighting the organic process of transition's purpose, you will tire from exhaustion. Your transition-tude will start to stink, even to you.

History leaves hints of how we usually 'Go' through transition. So take an inventory of how you've done in past and look at how you are doing right now.

I hope you will embrace the GRACE that is available to every transition-er.

Move from control, frustration, impatience, sabotage, whining and tantrums — and into surrender. You will learn that “trusting the process” isn’t a one time deal.
You will have to let go minute by minute, moment by moment – over and over again.

I hear you asking, “HOW do I surrender, Brenda?” “How do I trust?”
Well, the answer is different for everyone — but I can confidently say that you know when you aren’t surrendered and not trusting.

You know what you do, say, and think when you lack trust or surrender. So start to be aware of those tell tale signs and start to make small, mini acts of surrender. That’s a great place to start and there is great GRACE available to help you do just that.

As you start to realign your thoughts and your actions, your “transition -tude” will start to get better and your load lighter. Make a renewed decision today.

Here are two choices:

1. Ride the rollercoaster of stubbornness that leads to discontentment
–or–
2. Surrender, get back on the transition trail, and see where it leads.

Which will it be?

Friend — choose to Grow through transition daily and moment by moment! It’s your choice.

Make the right one today… and believe me when I say, you will have to make that choice over and over throughout your day.

I am excited for you as you Go and Grow through it!!
And hey, turn that frown upside down.

Checking my transition-tude too,
Brenda B;0)

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Will this ever end? Transition Part Deux

By Brenda Bertrand on March 10, 2010

So, I get a few questions about transition and change. I want to respond to one of the most popular questions I receive on transition. Here it is:

“Brendaaaaaaaaa,”
“I have been in transition foreeeeeever and I can’t stand it anymore. When will it endddddddddddddddd?”

Dramatic, I know but if you have been through a tough and long transition, you can relate.

So, the question is: “When will transition end?”

Well, here’s the answer.
Ready?
Drum rolls please……

I have not a clue when it will end. Not a clue.
Sorry darlin’. Transition timelines are a mystery to me too!

But I can say confidently:

This time will not last forever!
This time will not last forever!
This time will not last forever!
This time will not last forever!

Got it?

One more time: This time will NOT last forever.

Now, I know you know this and it is certainly not want you want to hear.
But, your question tells me you are as uncomfortable as a pregnant lady in her 9th month.
I get it!!!! Well, not the pregnant part… I get that you are miserable…ready to take a load off… Ugh! You know what I mean. ;0)

I know the discomfort is killin’ you. I feel ya! It’s the unknown. It’s the frustration. It’s the unanswered questions. It’s the “nothing fits anymore” feeling that driving you bonkers.
I get it!

But think back to your last transition.
Did it end? Yes!
Could you have guessed when it would end? Nope!

The good news is they ALL end.
The bad news is we spend way too much energy and time groaning through each transition.
I know because I too have groaned and moaned myself through many ‘a transitions.

But…come on. Isn’t it true that every transition has an end? Absolutely!

So, my encouragement to you, dear one is…..Transition does have an expiration date but that doesn’t matter.

Instead of focusing on human timetables — which by the way hold no weight in transition-world— keep your heart focused on being open, tender and trusting.

This journey is not something you have to:
control
do alone
dread
struggle through
despise
dismiss
fear
sabotage
abort
destroy
compromise
shorten
_________

So instead of asking, “When will it enddddd?”

Ask yourself:
“Am I ‘Growing’ through this transition or ‘Groaning’ through it”?

When you can honestly ask that question without gritting your teeth, rolling your eyes and balling your fists — you are well on your way to growing through a transition.

One glorious day, the exhaustion, the concern, the unknowns, the darkness, the discomfort, and endless string of unanswered questions— they WILL pass.
In a strange, mysterious instant, there will be:
a beam of light
answered prayers
fresh air
clarity
perspective
a sigh of relief

Do you believe this or did you just roll your eyes? ;0)
—–
Dear friend, I know it is hard to believe there will be ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ when all you have seen is the blackest of night for days, weeks, months or even years.
But I will say it for the umpteenth time: This time will not last forever! G-R-O-W through it!

So take a deep breath, put on your walking shoes and throw that watch out, sista!
It is adding stress to the process.

Transition well, and do know that I am your biggest fan.

Growing through,
Brenda B
p.s. Transition Part I is here

Posted in | 3 Responses

Time for a Career Audit – Guest Post by Mireille Guiliano

By Brenda Bertrand on February 28, 2010

It’s the end of February – have you kept your resolutions? Enough with the get in shape ones. How about taking on a new and improved work life or career? As 2010 begins both a new year and new decade, consider pausing to reflect on the following questions and acting upon your realizations.

*Are you in the right company and/or right position? Is your company a good fit and one you’re proud to list on your resume? Do you feel passionate about what you do? Or at least mostly enjoy what you are doing?

*Are your work priorities aligned with those of your supervisor’s and your company’s? Business is not about you…it is about results. If you do what it takes to make your boss or your boss’s boss meet his or her goals, you will get noticed and eventually promoted.

*Is the message you’re projecting to others, what I call your brand image, one that you are proud of? Consider what people think of when they think of you as a brand. You need a look and manner that feels comfortable and right to you and that you feel confident presenting to the world.

*Are you making the most of your own unique skills and talents? Tailoring your career to your unique skills makes your efforts more natural, not such a struggle.

*Do you have work-life balance? In today’s fast-paced world, it’s all too easy to get caught up in your many responsibilities and feel you have no time to do things for yourself. This is a mistake, though, and one that took me years to realize. Taking just a few minutes of “You Time” each day will make you a more productive and pleasant person, and this will ultimately make you more successful in your career.

If you don’t like your answers to these questions, consider what you could change to be more effective or happier. This is when the word “resolution” tends to comes up, but I don’t like big resolutions which all too often lead to needless guilt, frustration and giving up. Instead, I like to think of each year as an opportunity to “reassess,” to think about the changes you would like to make and come up with some small steps you can implement throughout the year to help you get there.

As you make your personal assessment, set small, manageable goals, and no more than three at a time. Once you have achieved these goals, then set three more. In this way, you never feel overwhelmed or overly stressed about the changes you’re making. Proceed little by little and be happy when you do meet a goal. Adjust as you go. Unlike a grand resolution that only sets you up for failure, these little alterations add up over the course of a year to create real, lasting change…without all the guilt.

Mireille Guiliano is the former CEO of Clicquot, Inc. (Champagne Veuve Clicquot/LVMH) and author of recently released Women, Work & The Art of Savoir Faire and bestselling French Women Don’t Get Fat and French Women for All Seasons.

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2010 Check In! Have you lost focus?

By Brenda Bertrand on February 24, 2010

Hola Ladies!!!

First of all, I want to tell you what an encouragement you have been over the years.
You bless me much more than I have blessed you… so there. Thank you for the notes, emails, Facebook and twitter messages. The word is out: I do this because I believe in you… Yes!! BUT…I benefit so much more than you will ever know. My investment yields exponentially in my own personal and professional development. Thank YOU!

Well, I wanted to, in classic Brenda-fashion, check in on you.

How are you doing with your 2010 goals? Are you walking in Clarity, Confidence, Connection and Courage?

As you know, I set an intention this year to really invest in my relationships.
It is not easy work, and often comes at a great price — but it is the most meaningful thing I will ever do.

With that in mind, I decided to start with my immediate family. My parents and brothers.

I went home to the Virgin Islands on a surprise, last minute visit.
I wanted to put my actions where my heart is— so I took a free ticket (that I was saving for a European or African trip), and instead used it to go surprise my parents. I hadn’t been home in three years. What’s up with that?

So I gathered my t-shirts and shorts and went home. Yahoo! My parents were sooooo shocked. They didn’t have a clue. And I loved every minute of watching them be speechless in shock. My dad speechless? That is a once in a lifetime treat. hehehe.

We hung out, I played with the dog, went to the beach, we laughed and ate as a family for only four days.

Why only four days? I am glad you asked. I got wind that a major snow storm was coming to D.C. the following week, and because of prior commitments, I had to shorten the trip and return to Washington. Ugh!!! Snowmageddon!

We couldn’t believe it. This was a sad but real moment of how our best intentions are often met with reality. Bummer….
BUT those four days meant alot to them —- AND to me. I needed them to know how much they mean to me and I needed to put action where my heart is.

So enough about me. I am sure you had fabulous intentions at the beginning of the year on what you would hope to accomplish in this first quarter. And I know many of you have been successfully executing. However, sometimes our best plans and intentions are met with harsh reality. Something doesn’t go as planned, something goes awry, our perfect little details go down the tubes.

Don’t let reality kill your intentions. It’s time to recalibrate and refocus!
If you are meeting resistance, that’s a good sign. It means you are in momentum. Take another route, reset the goal(s), follow the detour and see where it leads you. Just don’t give up!!

I encourage you to see March and the spring as an opportunity to finish the first quarter of the year with a bang! Look over the past two months and reinvent, refocus, rethink, adjust your mindset — and then get back on the track.

Invest your resources, time and energy in reaching your goals whether they look like the original or not.

I had to switch gears unexpectedly but nothing was lost. I think that visit, although abbreviated, breathed a much need fresh breath of air and perspective in my heart, mind and soul … as well as that of my folks. It is just what the doctor ordered although it was not what the patient wanted. hehehe.

This is harrrrrrrrrrd work but oh so good. Get back in the race, lovelies. I will see you at the finish line!

It is almost Friday. Make the rest of your work week fabulous for you and someone else. Ok?

Ciao!

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The Gift of Love

By Brenda Bertrand on February 14, 2010

In honor of Valentines day, I share this great video by Tony Robbins.
It is such a beautiful visual and testament of the power of L-O-V-E!
Love the life you have, love the people who are near you today.
Your gift of love today, will be a bounty tomorrow.
What you give, you get to keep!

Happy Valentines Day!

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